Some space debris crashes in a farmer’s field. Unfortunately the bits are contaminated with green goo, and before you can say “this sounds a bit like The Blob,” the slime creeps up the farmer’s torch and – well, that’s the end of him.
Meanwhile two hunky brothers – Ethan and Jake – also go to investigate the mysterious landing. They decide not to call the authorities in case they get cavity-probed (?!) but as they’re strapped for cash they sell the space-junk to an old man who’s building a statue from scrap metal. It’s the town’s centennial and the 17-foot tall golem is going to be “a surprise”. I think we can assume it’ll certainly be that.
The infected metal bits move around on the ground by themselves (and to be fair, you can’t see the string) and fix themselves to the statue, which promptly comes to life and tries to finish off the dozen or so people who live in the town.
These attacks involve a combination of CGI golem and a grabbing robot hand that comes through windows. Victims always turn pale and veiny – apparently all the blood vessels become distended. (All the blood vessels? Maybe that’s why we never see the male victims lying flat.)
Being near the monster also makes car engines stop and house lights flash on and off like a cheap disco. The green stuff’s “nerve impulses are giving off an electro-magnetic field,” says Jake’s former high school sweetheart, who is visiting town. Lucky for Jake she’s no longer married since a recent divorce. And lucky for everyone else she just happens to be a biology expert. The gunk is apparently a space bacteria, though to be honest it looks a lot like iron filings in green paint being moved around by a magnet.
People try shooting at the metal giant with a rifle, which (unsurprisingly) has no effect. Oh, and apparently if you pour a bottle of alcohol onto something burning, it puts the fire out (?!).
It’s a made-for-TV movie, and doesn’t offer anything particularly new. Although I was surprised when they killed off one of the main characters half way through! It’s not excessively exciting or scary, but it’s cheesy enough to be fun and entertaining.
Metal Shifters AKA Iron Invader is often shown on TV in the UK, particuarly on SyFy. It is also available online.
Iron Invader (AKA Metal Shifters)/2011/Cinetel Films/Dir: P Ziller/Prod: J Prince
yearbook
September 21, 2011
cool