Vice Girls (1997)

The film opens with two baddies (one in denim dungarees and fingerless gloves) running from a female cop – presumably for crimes against fashion – before she gives their arses a good kicking in a wonderfully cheesy fight scene.

bathroom bonkingIn a bar, banners proclaim “Congratulations Coop”, which I was disappointed to realise did not mean Co-op. The female cop (Coop or Cooper) is now the proud owner of a detective badge as well as a tough attitude and a drink problem.  Despite a reluctance to celebrate, she drags a random bloke off to the toilets, where she gives him a sexy dance in her bra, while a Bontempi organ plays. And she plays the, er, mouth organ. Well what a coincidence, it turns out she’s just met Lieutenant John Russo, who she’s going to be working with in this case! Way to make a first impression.

A killer is making snuff movies of young girls, and Coop the cop will be co-working with a couple of other hot female colleagues. There’s Block (such a pretty name for a lady) who can make a man pass out by just touching his neck. And Mindy, who wears big glasses and has her hair up, so is obviously the brains of the team. Mindy and Block immediately start bonding (punching and smashing bottles over each others’ heads) and I wondered – could Coop cope with a couple of catty cops? Of course she can.

Mindy creates a special ‘bullet bra’ (why is it called that?) for Block to wear while she half-heartedly gyrates in front of potential suspects who’ve paid 60 bucks to see a ‘sexy schoolgirl’ dance. And who are promptly disappointed. The bra is basically a pointy pvc top with big ol’ camera lenses in the nipples that whirr loudly and rotate very obviously. The client presumably doesn’t notice this, as he’ll be looking at – I don’t know – her eyes? Had the bra been made for Coop, it would have been a crafty cam in a Coop cup to catch creepy crims.

I wonder if it was designed to film in 3D..?

secret bra-camThe hooter-cam comes into use again later, when Mindy goes to ‘audition’ for a role with a long-haired filmmaker who says annoying things like “sex-sational” and surprisingly doesn’t get punched. When she’s left alone, she wanders around the house, pointing her breasts at items of interest, and describing everything she’s doing (“I’m upstairs”) as if the people watching through the cameras can’t work that out for themselves.

Watch out for a wonderfully implausible scene where a character is poisoned. And just when you think it’s all over.. The closing credits are certainly worth keeping an eye on. It does feel like more work went into writing these than the rest of the movie!

Vice Girls is low budget, and an odd mix of Bad Lieutenant, Cagney & Lacey, and a ‘Confessions Of..’ film. It’s hard to believe it was made in 1997, it has such a strong early-80s feel and look. It gets silly at times, with unintentionally funny fight choreography, dialogue and acting, and some gravity-defying boobies. And it would be a lot of fun to watch with the right group of people, though on your own you might just end up shouting at it.

 

Vice Girls is often shown on TV in the UK, particularly on Movies4Men and Movies4Men2, and is available to purchase from amazon.co.uk, amazon.com and other retailers.

Vice Girls/1997/Sunset Films International/Dir: R Gabai/Prod: AL Baynes

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